From the title of today’s story you can guess that today’s story is not that enjoyable. But in my humble opinion, every now and then one has to think and meditate of this greatest reality in our life especially those who either are getting old or unfortunately have some serious illness. The minute one is born, he will start on a journey which may be long or short, and with ever tick of the clock one is inevitably getting nearer to his destination which for those who did not understand yet what I mean, the word is ‘death’. Once I heard that our life may be compared to a candle that once it is lit the process is irreversible………..it will get shorter and shorter, till it is entirely consumed.
Anyway this is surely not a pleasant subject and I think that one will willingly postpone or better prefer not to think about it. But most probably when ‘lightning strikes’ close to us we have to think about it wanting it or not.
In today’s story I am going to narrate several sad episodes from my life when I lost a close friend. Here I am not going to mention any old relatives and friends who died of old age because this is the expected pattern of life. I am going to refer to friends who left us unexpectedly with one cause or another as was the case of my dear father, as I narrated in last week’s story.
My friend Fabian
This happened a long, long time ago when we were both about ten. Fabian was a summer friend because we used to meet only in summer when both of our families used to go to our summer houses in the same seaside village. In winter we did not meet as he lived in a town which was quite some distance away from our town. It was on a winter day just before Christmas when in the local news on the cable radio, I heard the bad news which really shocked me.
It was and still is the tradition in Malta that for Christmas, a Circus would visit our island. I remember that year it was the Apollo Circus. This circus was famous for its Aqua Show. In fact the ending of the show reached a crescendo with this unique water show. The circus ring was converted in a circular pool. In the center they had this sort of fountain. Then when all was in place, the lights were all put off and the fountain started to eject several jets of water which seemed to dance to the music which was being played. All this was so very enchanting even because there was this continuous change of colored light which illuminated the ‘dancing water’. Moreover, beautiful girls danced on the water’s edge around the pool.
To do this performance several large tanks full of water where emptied in the ring which was covered with a large sheet of waterproof canvas. This was done by using powerful pumping machines. These large tanks were carried on trucks.
When the circus arrived on the island, the many caravans and cages with animals drove slowly along the streets of the island from the wharf to the place where the big tent was to be set up. It happened that the circus was to be stationed in the town where my friend Fabian lived. As the cheerful procession of caravans proceeded along the streets of the town, several children joined in the fun and responded to the waving of the circus artists and followed the circus in an old football ground where the circus was to be stationed.
The entrance to this stadium was through a large gate which was just wide enough for the caravans and trucks to pass. My friend Fabian was one of those children who followed the slow moving vehicles. He grabbed to one of the trucks which were carrying the water tanks. His great mistake was that he did this not at the back of the truck as other children did, but he held firmly to the side of the truck. The driver of the truck could not see him and as he entered the narrow entrance to the stadium poor Fabian was squeezed between the truck and the wall.
My friend Bertie
Again this was another summer friend of our childhood days. As I once described in another story, the seaside village where we spent our summers was very primitive in those days. There was no electricity and we had to fetch water in cans or containers from few public water taps which one could find here and there in the village. I remember that late in the afternoons my brothers and I used to meet with other friends and have a game of football. In fact Bertie was a keen football player as I was. Of course after an hour or so playing football we would go home and wash. But giving the circumstances we could not have a proper shower or have a good bath, but with just a little water we used to do our best to clean ourselves. But at least once a week we used to go to our town house and have a good nice bath with plenty of water.
Once, Bertie and I agreed to go to our respective town house to do this exercise. We boarded the same bus. After half an hour I stopped and got down the bus in my town and he proceeded to go to his town which was one or two miles up the road. We had agreed that each one of us had to return to his summer house on his own and we would meet later in the evening with our other friends as usual. That evening when I met my friends, Bertie was not there. It was no big deal because I thought that perhaps he had other plans for the evening. The next morning, in the village there was a strange commotion and all were talking about a fatal accident which happened to a young boy. When I asked around I got to know that it was my friend Bertie. I learned that his parents were worried when he did not return in the evening. Knowing that he had gone to their town house, late at night they went there to find their son electrocuted. After taking a bath, Bertie, still wet, went in the bed room and tried to switch on a lamp shade ………What happened can be easily guessed.
My friend Matteo
Matteo and I meet in the Teachers Training College. Both of us were married and as such we had permission to go to sleep at home daily; not like the unmarried students who only were allowed to go home during the weekends. We used to leave college after a day’s work to go home in our respective villages. Neither one of us had a car at that time so we went by bus to the main Bus Terminus and from there we would go on our separate ways. We became really good friends and as we did not have any children yet, both of us used to talk about how much we wished to start a family. We got so close that he and his wife would often come to our house and sometimes we would go to theirs to spend a few hours together. We also went for picnics together. When we finished college and became teachers we still meet regularly. We soon had our first baby and they were almost as thrilled as we were. Few years passed and we had the second child. I could see their disappointment as they wished to become parents too. Still we were the best of friends.
At that time I still did a lot of wood work at home. At one time they asked me to make a new kitchen for their home as they still had an old one which they found when they first entered their home. I was telling Matteo that I had just bought a new wood cutting machine and I needed to install a new main electric wire from my main supply to my small workshop on the roof. He insisted that he will do it for me as he was quite a good electrician. So on a Saturday he came over to our house and spent all day working and by late afternoon he was ready and the new machine worked beautifully. On Sunday we went all together to have a day’s picnic. They loved our children and would enjoy themselves holding them and playing with them, on such occasions. They were even talking about adopting a child. I still remember that day even because we have several photos of them holding our children.
Monday morning was a school day and off I went to work as usual. At about eleven in the morning the caretaker of our school knocked at the door of my class. He told me that I had a phone call from a woman who wanted to talk to me personally. I was worried. In those days there were no cell phones. Who could it be? Was it a parent? Was it my wife?
I rushed to the Head’s office and took hold of the receiver. On the other end I heard the voice of a woman who was sobbing. She told me that she was Katie, Matteo’s wife. In a few words she said that Matteo had died in his sleep during the night. I just could not believe it. He was only thirty three and seemed to be fit and strong even on the previous two days we spent together. My wife and I were so shocked that we did not sleep a wink that night. We went to my friend’s funeral but when the coffin was brought, my wife fainted and I had to carry her out of the church and when she recovered we went home. It was quite a long time till we overcame this very sad experience.
My friend Carlo
As I mentioned several times in my past stories, my wife and I used to be members of a prayer group. At the beginning, our group was quite large but in time the number of members was reduced. As time passed we got to know each other better and better and we were more than brothers and sisters to each other. Of course there were some difficult types which tended to make life more difficult but even these helped in a way to make those who attended more mature and better Christians.
Carlo and his wife May were members of our group and were elected to be part of the team six persons to run the whole group together with my wife and me and another couple. We were good friends although we did not agree on every issue but all in all, I can say that they were sincere and helpful.
Every few months we organized a weekend retreat for the group. We would go in a hotel on a Friday evening and we would stay there till Sunday evening. All six of us, that is the six leaders together with the priest would prepare from days before for this retreat. We would meet several times together in our homes and choose extracts from the bible and prepare how we should deliver these to help all the group to grow spiritually.
On one of these retreats we went as usual on a Friday evening to a hotel. After settling down in our rooms, we would has supper together and later we would meet in a hall to hold a sort of introduction to prepare all the group for the following days of the retreat.
Then we would pray and meditate to create the right atmosphere. On this particular occasion, Carlo had to do the introduction and he did it beautifully. Then I exhorted all to keep silent and as much as possible till everyone retired to his room and went to sleep. I also told them that next day after breakfast we had to meet in the hall. Everybody obeyed and all went into their rooms.
Early next morning while my wife and I were still in bed, we were awakened by a lot of screaming and shouting. As I was got out of bed to go and see what was happening, someone banged on the door of our room. I opened and saw May crying and shouting telling me that something happenened to her husband who when he got out of bed, he dropped down on the floor and he wasn’t moving and breathing at all. Many members of the group were already in Carlo’s room and one of them was giving him the kiss of life. But it was all in vain. We called a doctor who came after a few minutes and he told us that Carlo had a heart attack and died. Everyone was petrified and the priest prayed on our friend.The retreat had to end there. Carlo was not that young; he was in his early fifties but no one expected this to happen.. He left his wife May and four young children.
To conclude I wish to repeat that I am not narrating these episodes in my life to distress you and make you feel sad. I know that all of you have your own experiences in this regard. The message that I wish to deliver is to be always on the alert both as regards safety and avoiding unnecessary risks which can be fatal. Moreover, it is very important to keep our health in check by doing the recommended tests from time to time as certain illnesses may be silent killers. Lastly, I cannot leave out the spiritual side. As a believer I have to pass on this message……..all of us have to die, we do not know how or when or where, so let’s be spiritually prepared and live our life the way we should.
Quote of the day:
Faith does not make one go around his problems but it makes those who have it, go through their problems.